I want to drink less, so I bought my first carton.
by Jas Gray
I was a late bloomer. I didn’t start drinking until I was 22. Amongst my circle of friends and family, the weird thing wasn’t that I started so late, but that I started at all.
This sober expectation took a while for me to shake off. Up until early last year, I was still conscious of how much I was drinking around certain people. This resulted in some of my mates labelling me a ‘sneaky drunk’, because I’d down a couple while they weren’t watching. Pretty funny. And sad.
Though I think I’m still reluctant to own the fact that I drink on a very subconscious level, I’ve progressed from it being about the title of a drinker to the health implications. I’m growing in my love of everything that’s good for me, mainly raw organic foods and movement like hot yoga. Beer doesn’t really fit into either of those categories, so my brain has had to find a way around it…
I’ve never bought a carton. Though I’ve drunk fairly regularly for the past few years, I’ve never purchased more than 1 bottle of wine or a 6-pack. I will quite happily go to a bottle-o 3 nights in a row and buy the same thing, rather than do what is quicker, easier and cheaper. If I drink more, it will be individual drinks when out.
Buy small amounts so I’m never confronted with how much I actually drink – is this my brain’s solution to helping me get away with drinking and maintaining my self-image of being healthy? Sounds like a pretty smart trick to me.
So I’m attempting to trick myself back. By buying a carton. (All-be-it a very natural beer that’s brewed 50kms away lol.) Even though I’m telling myself I don’t want to drink as much any more, I think I’ve also been telling myself I’m a healthy, hardly-ever-drink kind of guy. Which has been giving me permission to drink as much as I want. But now I have 24 beers sitting in my kitchen, reminding me that I don’t just live off fruit and veggies, helping me to confront the choices I’m already making.
Reminds me of the first weekend I got back from Africa. I suited up and went gambling. I wanted the culture shock of realising how disgustingly rich I was to hurt. It seems that’s the first stage before real change.
Now to wait and see how long this carton lasts. The ‘use by’ date is 11 months away…perhaps a goal?